happy birthday, Feather

As I yet tended my flock of one dog and one cat, I was visited by a UFO. Shaped like concentric wheels, they were covered with eyes, and infinitely spooky. A voice from the UFO spoke. It said, “Be not afraid. For in the house next to you, a bestie is born, and she shall show you the way.” And lo, I did prepare three gifts for the magical bestie: a playlist of music to slay the soul, a pot of chicken tikka masala with rice, and a pot of meatballs and spaghetti. And I approached the magical one. “I am Feather, I bring to you the way of peace and light.” So, I implored Feather for the answers. “Whom shall I subjugate so that I may make it into your good graces?” “No one! You shall treat all with love and kindness!” “Who may I belittle using my connection to you?” “No one! You shall treat all with love and kindness!” “Can I say a few prayers and give money to skirt this requirement and just be a jerk to everyone?” And lo, Feather did rise into the air. Sparks shot from her eyes and fingers, and she exclaimed: “To follow me, you must treat all with love and kindness! There is no more!” And it was thus that I began my journey of Love and Light from the baby born on this day so long ago. Happy Birthday, Feather.